i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
