Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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