In the future we'll all be gay
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
