just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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