my vag is so smooth its legendary
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
