I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
