ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
