I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
