No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
