I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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