Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
