She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
