and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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