? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
