So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
