I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
