I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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