planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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