yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
