Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
