dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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