You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
