I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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