I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
