well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
