If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she looked like the before picture.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
