I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Can Purell be used as lube?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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