I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
high people should be assigned attendants
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
