We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
