Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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