My brain says no but my pants say off.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
