Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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