paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Randomize
