38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i think im in europe. pls send help
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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