Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
