I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
