why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
