she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
where does the pee come out of this thing
We need to rekindle our bromance
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
