I hate your face
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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