I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
