Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How naked do you want me to be?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
