he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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