called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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