He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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