How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
