drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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