As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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