Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
