Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
