i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
