I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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