you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
